Not You
by promisesoffuture
Summary: Jace would never leave her side, even if she hates him. He didn't care if she hurt him because it didn't matter to him. Her tears were his tear, her pain was his pain. He just wanted her to realize that he loved her. That he would never leave but she was never afraid to leave his side. She was never afraid to hurt him. One shot.


One Shot

"I HATE YOU!" she screamed as her tears pooled in her eyes. "I don't love you!" his eyes didn't flinch or cringe. "I don't want you, Jace. I need Seb." she whispered and sunk to the ground crying. Jace wrapped his arms around her frail body. This was everyday. The same words and deeper and deeper cuts. "I hate you." she said to him in his arms.

"I know." he said and picked her up. He placed her on the couch and she looked out the window. The rain poured harder and the clouds got darker. Jace sighed and walked into the kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of water and Clary's anti-depression pills. He always wondered if she would forget about the jerk who left her and love the man who took care of her. "It's time for your medicine." he whispered and gently caressed her cheek. She looked at him with emotionless eyes. "Please, get better." he begged. She looked at the pills and took them in her hands.

"Do you think he ever loved me?" she asked him before swallowing the pills with water. "I wish I was good enough." he felt his heart break again. The moment he picked himself up, she would always shatter him.

"You are, Clary." he whispered and kissed her forehead. "You're always enough for me." she shook her head.

"I want to be enough for him. Sebastian." she sobbed and watched the rain again. Jace closed his eyes tightly. She could hurt him all she wanted, in the end, he'd be fine. "Why wont he come back for me?" it didn't matter to Jace. All his pain he could deal with, hers not so much. He wanted to take it away and just hug her as tight as he could. It took him years to get understand that she'll never love him. "Come back please." she whispered to herself.

A friend. That's all he would be to her. "Clary," he spoke. She turned to look at him, "Is this really who you want to be? You can hurt all you want. Do you ever want to smile again? If you don't than. . .don't die on me. I'll be here. Forever and always." he always told her this. She knew every word. It didn't matter to her. They were just words.

"It's not you, Jace." she said and closed her eyes. What she didn't know, is that it got harder and harder for Jace to say those words. It got harder and harder for him to stay with her. Pain was nothing to him because her pain hurt more. He watched as she fell asleep listening to the rain.

"I wont let you go. I don't care if I die because for you, Clary, I wouldn't mind giving up everything for you." he whispered softly but she never heard. Every scream she let out, Jace would hear and he would help, but his screams were less important. "I'll give you my love, even if you don't want it."

Everyday was the same. Just a pattern they both followed. Until, someone else broke it.

The doorbell rang and Jace hopped up to answer the door. When he opened it a tall man with white blonde hair stood there. It didn't take long for Jace to realize who it was. Sebastian. He smiled at Jace and looked behind him to where Clary sat on the couch. His eyes held a look of regret. Jace's eyes, held a look of heartbreak.

"Hey, Jace." he greeted and gave him a nod. Jace let out a tight smile and opened the door wider. "Clary." he whispered to himself. Jace nodded and looked back at the redhead.

"She'll be happy to see you." Jace said and let him in. Clary's head snapped up and locked eyes with Sebastian. Her eyes lit up but held something else entirely. Jace couldn't read her. "Clary, someone's here for you." he said and walked into his room, leaving them be. After all these months he took care of her, he finally let the tears fall. Love hurts. It does and it always will, but if you're strong enough. . .you can get over that pain.

"Seb." Clary stood up from her place on the couch. He smiled and waved at her. "What are you doing here?" that was not something she thought she'd say to him but it just came out.

"I wanted to see you. . ." he trailed off and looked away. "Clare, I'm so sorry. I was an idiot and. . .I don't know." he let out a noise of frustration. "Jace called me. He told me what you've been going through and I'm so, so, sorry." Jace?

"Jace called?" she asked a little shocked but then again, he would do anything for her. She smiled a little. "I'm over it." she said and looked at him. "You're here, that's all that matters." he smiled and walked over to her.

"Can we start over?" he asked her as his arms weaved around her waist. She stiffened because the spark she once felt from his touch was gone. Clary closed her eyes and looked up at him.

"I- I can't." Clary said and pushed him away gently. "Seb, I'm not your girl. I never was." she placed her hand on his heart. "She's out there but she's not me." his eyes held so much hurt. That hurt was all too familiar to her. He nodded and caressed her cheek.

"I love you, Clare." he whispered and placed a kiss on her forehead. Her mind went to Jace's lips when he kissed her head too. It felt different and she didn't life it. Sebastian's hands left her and the door closed. Clary walked to Jace's room and heard soft sounds. He was crying. Clary felt guilt, knowing she caused it. She knocked on the door and opened it.

He sat on his bed hugging himself. She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around just as he did when she cried. Jace's body went stiff but soon turned in her arms and hugged her back. She felt his tears soak in her shirt but she didn't care.

"Don't leave me, Clary." he whimpered and held her tighter. "As long as I'm here, I wont let you cry again. I wont leave but please don't leave me." her eyes watered and buried her head into her shoulder.

"I'll never leave." she whispered. "I'm so blind. It's always been you, Jace."

Smiling, Jace thought, _I will love you all the same. Even if everyone else leaves. You can cut me all you want because my pain wont matter. It's yours that hurts me._

 **A/N: Okay! I hope you liked that horrible one shot because I sure didn't. Everything I do is crap but oh well. People always said to smile through the negative because there's always the positive stuff! Yep! Right now I'm writing really messed up things with depression and death, but I'll write something positive soon. Maybe?**


End file.
